Sri Chaitanya Bhagavat

All the devotees very much perturbed and grief stricken, they were already feeling the pangs of seperation from their beloved Lord Chaitanya, they cried piteously. They said amongst themselves, "where will He go after taking sannyasa? Where will we see Him again? Surely, He is not going to return to this village after accepting a mendicant's robe, there is no way of finding out where He will be and which direction He will travel in." The devotees were constantly worrying in this manner, Their hearts filled with consternation that they may never see their most precious Lord again, no one took interest in food and sleep any longer.

The Lord could not bear the pain His devotees were suffering. Smiling pleasantly to alleviate their distress the Lord assured them, "why do you unnecessarily vex yourselves? I am always present with you. It is wrong of you to think that once I have taken sannyasa I will leave all of you and go far away. Not for a moment can I leave you. All of you are My eternal associates. Not just for this birth, but birth after birth. Those of you who are associated with Me in this incarnation will eternally remain with Me in the mellow of congregational chanting of the Holy name. In every millenium I advent and in every one of My immumerable incarnations you have participated in My pastimes. With this advent I have come with two incarnations, one is the congregational chanting and the other is My transcendental deity form full of bliss. In both these incarnations you must participate in My pastimes with full vigour and joy, chanting with Me in ecstacy. I am taking sannyasa only to educate humanity, therefore please allay your fears and worries."

Placating the distressed devotees with His sweet words He embraced each one of them again and again. Lord's words had a pacifying effect on the devotees, and feeling more assured they allowed their beloved master to leave. Word spread swiftly everywhere that Nimai was going to embrace the mendicants life. When Saci devi heard this news her heart almost stopped. Her grief was so intense that the pain of the entire universe seemed like nothing. She fell to the ground unconcious, tears flowing in torrents and remained lying on the floor, a heart rending sight, the lotus eyed Lord saw all this sitting very still and grave.

Sacimata cried out to Nimai saying, "My darling son, please do not leave Your mother and go, all of us are simply depending on seeing Your divine lotus face. Your lotus eyes and moonlike glowing face, ruby lips and pearly jasmine white teeth, words like showers of ambrosia, graceful gentle elephants gerit are imposibble to live without. Your constant followers Advaita and Srivas and Your bosom friend Nityananda and Gadadhara are always there, just stay home and perform Your congregational chanting. You have incarnated to teach everyone the principles of religion, then what religion teaches one to leave one's mother. You embody the religious principles and if You forsake Your mother then how will You teach the world about religion?" Laden with immense love for her son Sacidevi waited out these words, and the Lord heard all this quietly, unable to speak, His voice choked with intense love for His mother.

She continued, "Your elder brother left sometime ago and then Your father left for the Lord's eternal abode, only You remained, and looking at You I could forget my pains of seperation; now If You leave I will certainly give up my life. My dearest son, just see the pitiful sight of Your lonely widowed mother, how can You leave me. Stay home, Nityananda is always here, You can perform kirtan in Your own house with all the devotees. You are everything to me. Your eyes are full of love and compassion and Your long hands are exquisite, Your words are cascades of nectar. My darkened house without a lamp is illuminated by Your presence, and Your lotus feet is the source of life giving elixir." Silently Visvambhar sat and listened, bearing the deep pain within as His mother out of intense love spoke painful words of seperation; like Kausalya trying to reason with Lord Ramachandra.

Sacidevi spoke on unable to calm herself the Lord still remained silently listening. She felt drained out, rampaged by the storm of grief, food and sleep were to her now a curse. The Lord seeing His mother's condition, revealed to her some secrets that might pacify her. He said, "Mother, please calm yourself and listen, I have been your son since many births. You were once Prishin and I was your son. Again you became Aditi in another life and you were residing then in the heavenly planets and I became your son Vamana. Then once again I became your son Kapila when you were Devahuti. When you were Kaushalya I was your son Rama. Another time you were Devaki in Mathura imprisoned in the dungeons of the cruel King Kamsa, and I became your son Krishna. In this present incarnation I will be your son twice. You will be the mother of My incarnation as the "deity form", and also the mother of My incarnation as the "Holy name". Mother, like this you have had Me as your son eternally, I can never leave you mother. I revealed this to you very confidentilally, now mother please allay your fears and grief. Sacidevi on hearing this esoteric narration was somewhat calmed.

Sri Krishna Chaitanya and Lord Nityananda are my life and soul, I Vrndavana das humbly offer this song at Their lotus feet.

Sri Chaitanya
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