Thankfully, and mercifully, I could now see the tail end of this parade of fools. The freak show had almost passed when one of these morons made the mistake of shoving a Communist Party pamphlet and a sign in my face. It didn't help that the sign read...
"We Need A Regime Change Here"
I snapped! I yanked the ungrateful punk from the crowd and punched him in the nose. The smelly freak in the Ben & Jerry's shirt slowly rose to his feet. He looked at me with bloodshot eyes and screamed - "Damn Dude! Why Did You Hit Me?"
"Because I hate you!" I replied. I told him he would have to do some soul searching to understand why I hate him and I punched him again.
With his face contorted by rage, Butter Not Bombs boy dropped his sign, raised his fists and came at me. I held out my hands before he could strike back and yelled "STOP! Remember your conflict resolution training in the Berkeley public school system. Remember that you only need to understand why I hate you, make a few changes in your behavior to appease me, give me three hugs, and then we can be friends forever. And always remember, violence only breeds more violence." I informed him that I was allowed to hit him and he couldn't strike back because it was his fault I hit him in the first place.
A smile slowly came to his face and Dazed & Confused Boy dropped his fists and said - . "You're right my brother! When attacked, I must not retaliate". Cherry Garcia started babbling something about don't bomb Iraq, racism, no blood for oil, down with Bush, not in our name...blah blah blah.
I interrupted him, smiled, and said - "Can't we all just get along?"
With that emotional plea, Puppet Boy began sobbing uncontrollably and came towards me with outstretched arms. He said - "Give me a hug man, you just need love and understanding! I believe you'll never attack me again!"
I punched him in the nose again and then I woke up. Time to go to work.