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Service is Self-giving
by Çré Çrémad Bhakti-rakñaka Çrédhara Gosvämé Mahäräja
Invite death at every point in
your life
Learn to give yourself. Learn to
die a so called death; embrace it at every second. In this political and social
world everything is at the cost of life. In every duty, at every step, they are ready to give up their lives
for that “do or die” conception. One who accepts such a principle of life is sure to progress. And
this progress will be very, very intense. “Do or die” – you are to live with such an attitude. At every
point, you are ready to do anything at the cost of your life. You will be a great success if you
serve with this spirit at heart. When you are approaching that special spiritual substance, that high
spiritual life, you are to invite death at every point of your life. The most intense desire you can have
is to desire to “do or die” at every point in your life. The guarantee is, “I shall attain that or I
shall die”.
You are to approach the Divine Sound, the Holy Name, with this spirit of
self-giving. “No
giving, no getting; no risk, no gain.” If you want to give with such intensity
of nature, then you will be adored as a candidate, a bona fide candidate, of that
spiritual world. So self-giving is necessary. Service means self-giving, self-dedication.
That should be our attitude in approaching the higher plane. In this way, all
the coatings of the material ego will vanish one by one, and the genuine
substance from within will come out and select its own soil. “This is my home, this is my sweet home.”
Real fortune is acquired by
self-giving
So many coverings cause us to deviate in different directions.
These foreign things are taking us far, far away from our svarüpa, that noble self of a servant in the highest plane of the whole
organism. The Beautiful is playing and dancing in His own sweetness and
affection. We can reach Him there, but we have to follow this course of “do or
die” at every moment. We can acquire our fortune through self-giving and not by
sitting in one place and collecting information about different places. What
utility can we get from collecting that information? What benefit can we derive
from it? As a master, “I sit in my room, in my chair, and I will gather
different information to be utilized for my self-interest”. This kind of
mentality is not acceptable.
The process of self-giving is given by Çréla Rüpa Gosvämé:
ädau çraddhä tataù sädhusaìgo
‘tha bhajana-kriyä
tato ’nartha-nivåttiù syät
tato niñöhä rucis tataù
athäsaktis tato bhävas
tataù premäbhyudaïcati
sädhakänäm ayaà premëaù
prädurbhäve bhavet kramaù
Bhakti-rasämåta-sindhu (1.4.15–16)
Ädau çraddhä means to go forth with this
faith, to “do or die” at every point in your life, not in the physical sense,
of course, but in the internal sense [the ego].
Embrace the twenty-four hour
connection
Bhajana-kriyä means self-giving with the
spirit of “do or die” – self-giving, inner self-giving, ego-giving. If you can adopt this process, then the undesirable things
within you will disappear very easily and quickly. Then, niñöhä will come and you will find a continuous
connection with this sort of principle in your life. This principle will act
continuously in you, and other fleeting, mean desires will not be able to approach
you or touch you. You will then find ruci, a taste, a real taste, for
that most charming substance. Otherwise, before that continuous connection with
Him, whatever taste we think we possess is all treachery. It is not real taste.
We want a twenty-four hour continuous connection with that charming substance.
Real taste will come after we attain that continuous twenty four hour
connection in divine thought of Him. That taste we can rely on. The taste we
may find when we are in other positions is not reliable, but the taste that comes
from a twenty-four hour connection, eliminates all other charms of this world
and is reliable. That ruci, that taste, will guide us.
Then äsakti comes and then bhäva. There are so many signs when you
get to that bhäva stage.
This bhäva-bhakti expresses itself as a ray of the
sun of prema. In this way we are to progress through
the process of self-giving.
Our Guru Mahäräja especially stressed this point and attracted
us to this way of making progress. No imitation is allowed as it has no good
effect. We will imitate for some time, then we will
make some offences that will disqualify us. This will slow down our progress in the process of
self-giving. It may even bring
it to a complete stop. If we are taken to the examiner, and we get a stamp of
disqualification, it will hamper our future progress. So, aparädha, offence, we must be very careful about this.
That circle records this as a
discredit, a disqualification. The examiners will give a stamp of disqualification for aparädha – a criminal offence. It makes us unfit and will go against us; therefore, we shall be very much
careful not to commit any
offence. We should remain newcomers, always seeking a new introduction. We should not have a criminal record against us. We
must always be careful to
protect ourselves from committing any offences against the devotees. It will slow down our spiritual progress.
Learning the gift of giving
yourself
When we follow the highest object of our eternal life we must be
very, very careful. This warning was especially given by our Guru Mahäräja – “sevon mukhe”. We were not allowed to read much even about ordinary subjects
dealing with sädhana, devotional practices, what to speak of the higher literatures. But
we were encouraged by “çravaëa, kértana”, hearing from the real
source and doing accordingly. In this way, by serving, learn to give yourself
properly. There are different methods of service: çravaëa, hearing; kértana, chanting; smarana, remembering; vandana, praying, etc. Çréla Rüpa Gosvämé has mentioned sixty-four
kinds of devotional practices and a thousand kinds of devotional practices are
further mentioned.
Work under the guidance of a
Vaiñëava
Practices, however, are not very important. The very life of the
practice is all-important and that is self dedication, self-giving. So be very
particular to learn dedication and self-giving. This means practically to work
under the guidance of a Vaiñëava devotee, getting ready to work under a proper
agent. This will help you a great deal to learn, to practice, what is
dedication to that Sweet Lord. Guidance must come from those above you. It is
very rare, but it is most valuable to us. Whatever directions are coming from
above, we must selflessly embrace them as all in all. This is the clue; this is
the key to the hidden treasures in your heart. I will not work with my whims or
serve men on my level, but I shall very eagerly obey what directions come from
the above plane. This is service proper and it will be a real help for
progressing on the path of dedication and self-giving.
Once in his final days, our Guru Mahäräja said to a sannyäsé who had led a full twenty years
in service to the mission, “You did not see me. You could not see who I am.
Like a zaméndär you have kept some householder servitors under you and from time
to time, you try to give something from them to me. You have become a broker.
You are keeping something under you, and now and then you try to give some contribution
from them to me. You are a broker, but you should be wholesale mine – my agent.
Whatever service you do in this world you do on my behalf as you are only my
agent. But you are not doing acting according to this truth. You are dependent
on those householders while keeping a connection with me. This is not
necessary. You are not a member of this world. You are mine
alone. Whatever I say, you should do that and not sell yourself to any proposal
of this world. You are wholesale my servant.”
It is rare to find what is necessary for our progress. It comes
from a higher plane and to substantiate that reality within us we must
surrender ourselves to it.
viracaya mayi daëòaà déna-bandho dayämé vä
gatir iha na bhavattaù käcid anyä mamästi
nipatatu çata-koöi-nirbharaà vä navämbhaù
tad api kila-payodaù stüyate cätakena
The cätaka bird
is a kind of bird that only drinks rain water from above. This class of bird is
always looking high in the sky for rain drops to fall. There may be much water
available here on the ground, but they will not take a drop of it. They are
waiting for that rain water that comes from above. Sufficient rain water may
come, or thunder may come, still they will not take a single drop from the
earth. Our attitude should be like this. Whatever directions come from above,
we shall take on our heads as our life and soul. But we shall never take any plan
from this mundane world. The director, the master, the Lord, is there and I am
connected with Him.
This sort of practice is helpful. We may take the holy name, or
hear devotional musical chants, but the very life will be that it is coming
from the above place; and “I am carrying out that order”. In this way, I may be
taken above to the higher planes. I shall be directed to the higher layers and
I may go there eternally. I am preparing myself only to carry out this
spotless, uncolored order and surrender to it without questions. If we are sure
it is coming from the higher layer, then we shall live selflessly at His
disposal. We want selfless service to the higher source; not to any mundane source.
This is necessary for real progress in the line of self-dedication and
self-giving. This is service. There are so many signs and symptoms to indicate
the higher directions descending from Gurudeva. We shall wholeheartedly embrace
the directions given by Gurudeva.
Truth cannot come within our
jurisdiction
The sum and substance is that by obeying the directions from the
Higher, we can make progress towards higher planes. By serving the Higher, we
can hope to be selected by the Higher. We may then be taken to that higher
layer if our dedication is considered qualified. If we want to go towards that
high, high super-conscious region, this process of self-giving will be the main
tenure of our lives.
Revealed truth is necessary. No intelligence or reason can be
applied here. If we apply any reason, we will be nowhere. A man who is expert
in argument will defeat another man not so qualified, but the Truth remains regardless.
Intellect and reason have no position there because Truth, super-consciousness
and dedication do not come within the jurisdiction of intellect, logic and
reason. We can only invite that high quest by serving, by honoring, by
self-giving and by heart-giving, never otherwise.
It is not possible to enforce, capture or encase Him by any
intrigue or by any conspiracy. This will have the opposite effect and is
considered as Satan in another color. God realization means çaraëägati, self-surrender unto Him. We can approach Him not only through
self-abnegation, but with deep self-surrender. This self surrender, çaraëägati, will put us in connection with the higher, nobler substance.
This self-surrender, self giving, is to be cultivated
at all cost. Service is to God, and not to mäyä, misconception. We must be very careful that we are not serving
a charming form of mäyä. In the form of god – a godly
form – some mäyä is
coming to take us away from our service. In our present position we must be very attentive to whom we are serving.
Try to connect to where you are
never the master
Jïäne prayäsam udapäsya
namanta eva – “To
hatefully give up all proposals that the intellect offers to you, to hatefully
throw out what your intellect comes to propose or give you.” What the intellect
is able to judge and accept or not accept must be of a lower type. So,
summarily, you are to reject it and understand that you must bow down your
head, namanta eva. We are to approach the higher substance in this way. Try to
connect with that section where you will always be a servant with folded palms and
never a master. Such abnegation, such courageous of self-giving, is necessary
if you want to live in the higher plane; otherwise you will become a master and
reign in hell. In Satan’s words, “It is better to reign in hell than to serve
in heaven.” But, in wholesale self giving, just the opposite is necessary.
Even tears and cries will have no value if the inner tendency of
self giving is not awakened. Sevä, “service is self-giving,” is
the main principle of life in the devotee. This self giving is really meant for
the higher planes and not here and there around us in this mortal world. Otherwise,
this self giving tendency may be captured by the hateful things of this
perishable world. Jïäna, knowledge, is supposed to be
very, very pure and free from doubt. The majority of persons consider knowledge
to be very innocent as it does not mix with these gross material things. Higher
personalities consider knowledge to be very pure, very innocent and spotless, but
if this knowledge is not connected with Kåñëa it must be hatefully rejected.
In Çrémad-Bhägavatam (1.5.12) it is written:
naiñkarmyam apy acyuta-bhäva-varjitaà
na çobhate jïänam alaà niraïjanam
kutaù punaù çaçvad abhadram éçvare
na cärpitaà karma yad apy akäraëam
Knowledge is widely considered as pure, innocent and spotless.
But if it is not connected with the Positive Absolute Good, then it is your
enemy and it will devour you. If you are to consider like that, then you will become
a qualified candidate. This is jïäna-çünyäbhakti. Çaraëägati, self surrender is so
pure that connection with jïäna, which is considered to be very innocent
and spotless, is also hatefully rejected. Such a degree of self-surrender is
necessary for the higher association of devotion proper. Jïäna-karmädyanävåtam, the charm of material acquisition and the charm of mastery, of
knowing everything, are both rejected. We do not know anything in the Infinite,
even in magnitude or quality. We cannot know anything in the Infinite. It is a
flow of autocracy. What can we know?
The noble, higher, super conscious
region
Knowledge does not mean to store so many false incidents and sell
them to the world for some name and fame. No! That is to be hatefully rejected
– given up. But service, unconditional self-giving, is noble and will take you
to the higher, super-conscious region. Jïäna and karma are both discouraged. We are discouraged from handling matter
and knowledge. Knowledge will not apply in that plane of dedication. That is
the plane of Absolute Will, the flow of Absolute Autocracy and no rule or
regulation can work there. False gathering, false storing, has no value there,
no market value. No market is there! Therefore, only by self-surrender,
self-giving, will you have such high quality of devotion. So, a serving or self-giving
attitude is our friend. We are a unit of serving attitude, and service means to
surrender to the Higher. The Higher means “uncontaminated with material and
intellectual acquisition”. This sort of higher devotion swiftly carries us to
His divine abode where love, beauty and charm reign supreme.
[Courtesy of Çrépad B.P. Håñékeça Mahäräja]
RAYS OF THE HARMONIST
No 12, Gaura Purnima 2003
